Do we know that our brain is not always with us in creating happiness? Our mind loves negative thoughts so it sticks to it. What can we do to counter these negative thoughts. Do you think just positive thinking solves our problems? Why is it so hard to find that life of meaning, beautiful relationship and happiness that we long for? Why can’t we simply remain “happy” all the time. We even try replacing to happy thoughts and carrying on with our lives. But that doesn’t happen. Does it?
This can only happen by taking positive action because happiness is a life skill that we need to train and work on.
You must have gone through something like this that you kept worrying about something, even though you knew worrying won’t change the situation, yet you kept worrying. I have seen my Mum doing this. And this worrying only takes her to another level of anxiety.
What I’m trying to get at is that however you feed yourself with positivity but our mind wanders off to negativity 50% of the time. Our thoughts are automatic. They have a life of their own. To create positivity we cannot control our thoughts all the time. Its imposible to be gatekeepers of our minds.
Here what do we understand by taking positive action. Its very difficult to control our thoughts but we can control our behaviour and actions.
So happiness does not come by positive thoughts but by positive actions.
Lets understand how does our brain assimilate information as. Its been proved by researchers that a negative effect of a setback is far more powerful than the positive effect of a success. Let’s take this for example. Remember the last time your boss, or your senior or your manager gave you an assessment of your performance. Perhaps he had a lot of good things to say about your contribution to the organization but he also had one thing to tell you about the improvement you need to make on your general performance.
Now tell me the top information that your brain captured in the above conversation. Is it the good things or the one improvement you need to make. Well! Our brain has been trained to pick up the later. This is the pattern that has been seen in people. We feel the same about money. We feel far more worse about loosing money than be joyous about gaining the same. Lets take another example, if you recieve a compliment from a fellow employee and then a complain from another one. The complain would stay in your mind for longer, as an emotional mark. Here we need to ask ouselves , why do we have such lopsided approach to ourselves? Why have we developed a negativity prejudise about ourselves? Why do we get stuck at the unplesant information about ourselves? All this really impacts how we percieve ourselves, our relationships, our work environment, our performance, etc. We can well agree that by the end of the day, we are anxious, worried, tensed and carrying a burden home. We are far from being happy that we long for.
Today, what we are looking for is purpose to our life, beautiful relationship and happiness. So how can we achieve this in the midst of negativity that our brain loves to pick on. So what brings us happiness? Is it wealth, fame, hardwork, house, cars, etc. No, these do not bring us happiness. Happiness only comes from relationships. Happiness totally depends on the quality of relationship you have with your spouse, family and friends. How open you are to each other? How much you listen to each other? and sharing your heart out is important. Thats what matters.
An evening with your spouse, listening and sharing your day. A hug welcomimg your kid from school and listening to his school activity. Calling up your friend and telling them how thankful you are to have them. A night out with your friends, sharing a bond,etc, is what brings happiness.This releases Oxytocin and Seratonin in our blood, making us happy and ecstatic. Investing your time into relationships is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself. So exercise this, and be happy.
